more one liners
A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That
way a woman
can be at her best when she is at her worst.
What does WIFE stand for?
Washing, Ironing, Fucking, Etcetera
What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes?
Goes-in-tight!
What does a 72-year-old snatch taste like?
Depends…
What’s “68″?
You do me and I owe you one.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
Gagged!
What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates?
A tearjerker.
Have you heard about the new supersensitive condoms?
They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
Define “Egghead:” What Mrs. Dumpty gives to
Humpty.
Why do women have fake orgasms?
Because they think we give a damn.
What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
Popeye almost killed him!
Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve
your sex life?
Because if you’ll eat that stuff, you’ll eat anything.
How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it
out!
KY Jelly have jumped on the Millennium bandwagon with the
slogan for their new product:
“Y2K-Y Jelly : when you want to put four digits where
only two could fit before!”
Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy?
He did okay until his business fell off.
What did the Indian say when the white man tied his penis
in a knot?
“How come?”
What is the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A genealogist looks up your family tree. A gynecologist
looks up your family bush!!
How do you piss off Winnie The Pooh?
By sticking your finger in his honey.
Why are cowgirls bowlegged?
Cowboys like to eat with their hats on.
What’s the definition of a teenager?
God’s punishment for enjoying sex.
Hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom?
“They’ll never see you coming.”
How is a woman like a road?
Both have manholes.
What’s the definition of a vagina?
The box a penis comes in.
What two words will clear out a men’s restroom?
“Nice Dick!”
What do you call a truckload of vibrators?
Toy’s for Twats.
What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
S&M&M.
What’s the definition of eternity?
The length of time between when YOU come and SHE leaves.
How do you know if a guy has a high sperm count?
His girlfriend has to chew before swallowing!
Why do we have orgasms?
How else would we know when to stop?
What do Kodak film have in common with condoms?
Both capture the moment.
A Chinese couple is in bed. The husband says he wants 69.
His wife says, “Why you want Beef and Broccoli now?”
What’s white and sticky and found on the bathroom wall?
George Michael’s latest release.
My sister is asthmatic. Last week in the middle of an attack
she got an obscene phone call. (pause) He said, “Did
I call you or did you call me?”
Define Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be
Mary!
Mom’s have Mother’s Day, father’s have Father’s
Day. What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others
shoulders?
A scrotum pole!
What’s the ultimate in rejection?
When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
Why don’t debutantes go to orgies?
There’d be too many thank you notes to write.
admin :: Jan.12.2009 :: Incest Stories :: No Comments »
